LEAF-go-VSO   

Chinese Wedding

China has 56 nationalities, and different nationalities have different marriage customs, but whatever the nationality a traditional wedding ceremony is usually very complicated. These days however the trend, especially in the cities, is towards "Western-style" with extravagant lacy white dress for the bride and a dress suit for the bridegroom.

       
We were invited to the wedding of Ms.Yang, one of the teachers in the English Department. It was held at a local hotel (above left). Lesley is standing beside the giant 'double happiness' characters in red and gold - essential for an auspicious start in married life. We greeted the bride and groom (above right). Waiters offered trays of cigarettes (for the men) and boiled sweets (for the ladies, children, and non-smoking men!). We had all dressed up for the occasion, but apart from the bride and groom, no-one else seemed to have bothered!

In Simao, affluent families like to hire a convoy of sleek black flower-bedecked cars and cruise around the Tea Plantation sightseeing road. This is as much about "being seen" as enjoying the view. Other popular local spots for the wedding photos are the Banyan (Upside Down) Tree, Red Flag Square or Xi Ma He Park in Simao Town.

After a swift costume change, Ms.Yang and her husband (having his glass filled) started their tour of the banquet tables and a furious succession of toasts. Guests handed over red envelopes of money as presents. The whole process, from arriving at the hotel, to leaving after the meal, took less than an hour. For us, used to the more relaxed and drawn out conditions of a British wedding, the experience was slightly surreal!

A traditional Han marriage usually involves six necessary procedures, namely: matchmaking, engagement, betrothal, presents, meeting the bride, three bows and drinking wedlock wine. Nowadays the matchmaking procedure is usually bypassed, and following engagement a date is chosen for the wedding. Most people would chose a public holiday or festival to make it convenient for friends and relatives to attend. Others, especially in the countryside, would ask a fortune teller to choose an auspicious date. The wedding itself involves everyone dressing up in their best clothes (Western or traditional, as mentioned above), firecrackers, and the throwing of ribbons and confetti over the bride and groom, as well as very loud traditional music. After lots of formalities and courtesies, the new couple stand together and make their Three Bows. The main event, even more important in many ways than the marriage ceremony itself, is a very extravagant banquet with many guests, lots of toasts (e.g. early birth of a healthy baby - one only, a boy please!) plus the giving of presents and money in red envelopes.

           
These pictures were taken in a public park in Hong Kong on our way to the Peak funicular.

Generally, people live with their parents until getting married in their early- to mid-twenties and it is common to be married to a spouse who lives and works in another part of the country, with the couple only seeing each other every few months. By and large there is a very traditional division of labour in a Chinese marriage. Ali is considered very unusual (and a splendid role model, by women at least!) for taking on the role of child carer in our family.